


Oyasumi, Oyasumi

by y0w0suke



Category: Persona 4, Persona Series
Genre: Angst, Broken Bones, Heavy Angst, I guess? Not really but, Just not in the beginning, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, References to Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Trust me this story has a good ending, not much but, slight eye gore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:35:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25307608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/y0w0suke/pseuds/y0w0suke
Summary: Hands Of Time Will Wring My NeckEvery Little Moment Spells RegretBut I Don't Have To Feel This WayAs A Voice Inside My Head
Relationships: Hanamura Yosuke/Narukami Yu, Hanamura Yosuke/Persona 4 Protagonist, Hanamura Yosuke/Seta Souji
Comments: 11
Kudos: 97





	1. Close Your Eyes And You'll Leave This Dream

**Author's Note:**

> Title Name/Inspiration Song: https://youtu.be/eHwOTK4VLqw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yosuke sighs, shoving the paper back in his uniform pocket where his weapons are also stored just in case they ever decide to go into the tv world. He can't think of them right now. He has to work anyway, that's one of the only good thing he seems to be good at besides the tv-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyoo who's ready for Shadow Yosuke being a bITCH-

**Oh hheeyy, look! It's a tv! Oh what a shame it would be if you just..walk in it, right?~**

"Can you shut up..?"

The Junes employee turns her head up from the shelves, looking at the Prince of Junes walk by one of the large TVs, placing his headphones on his ears and closing his eyes. 

He's been acting more..weird than normal lately. Talking to himself more in a hushed voice, seemingly telling himself to shut up more often, flinching at random times…

But it doesn't concern her though. Why would it? Why should she care about him, the one who ruined so many peoples lives because of Junes? No one would be alarmed if he somehow was found dead. It's a surprise to her and her small friend group that he wasn't one of the killers victims.

She sighs, turning back to the shelves as Yosuke walks out of the electronic section.

* * *

He keeps getting louder and louder.

**Ooooh, they aren't paying attention to you again! What a shocker!**

Yosuke makes a scowl-like face, leaning his cheek on his hand and tapping the table slightly with his free hand, trying to focus on the meeting while also talking to this voice.

_Yea yea I know my ideas suck.._

**Your ideas suck? Nono, they don't only suck..they are** **_horrible_ ** **ideas! ...ya know, I have a** **_great_ ** **idea..what if you go in the tv alone today?**

Yosuke lets out a groan in annoyance. "Are you fucking for real right now.."

Yosuke rubs his head slightly slightly as he feels a headace forming, making a soft sighing noise, before he jumps up as a pair of hands are slammed in front of him. "H-huh-"

"Are you really being like this right now??" Yosuke looks up and..it's Chie.

Chie looks..angry. Yosuke recoils back in pain from her loud voice, glancing to the side to avoid looking at her and looking at the team.

They all seem..annoyed at him. Even Yu, the one who usually is neutral on everything, has a disappointed and confused look on his face. Yosuke feels himself sink back into the seat, before he suddenly gets up. 

"I..I need to go."

"Yosuke wha-"

_"I need to go."_

Yosuke can see Yu flinch at the tone of voice he used. He sighs, muttering out a small apology that no one but himself probably heard, before he rushes home, ignoring the dirty looks the rest of the team gives him.

* * *

"Hey, Kanji.."

Kanji pauses lifting up the food from the bento box he was eating out of, staring at the other persona user with a small questioning face. "Hm? What is it, senpai?"

Yosuke picks at his own food slightly, fiddling around with the fork before sighing. "I..heard a rumor going around of if you do something wrong, you're able to hear your own voice like..mock you.."

Kanji tilts his head to the side. " _Mock you..?_ Like..almost like a shadow would mock you?"

Yosuke bites the inside of his lips, glancing over to the side, before shrugging, leaning back against the flimsy fencing of the roof. "I guess..? I just wanted to know what you think about the rumor, I guess."

The delinquent makes a thinking face as if he's trying to connect the dots to a puzzle, before shaking his head slightly. "They just sound like they're going crazy at that point to me if I'm being honest. Probably because of all this damn homework they keep pushing onto us! I mean seriously, why do they have to give ou-"

Yosuke flinches at the first few words of Kani's monologue, and he blocks out of what Kanji is saying at that point after he said crazy, his mind starting to run wild as he hears that familiar, annoying, nagging voice in his head.

**Even your own teammates you trust with your dear life are basically calling you crazy! How insane must you actually be to be hearing me, another version of yourself when you aren't in the tv world? Or am I even real? Who knows!~**

"-it's test session in a few months so I don't understand why they-" Kanji pauses in his tyrant, looking over at Yosuke. "Yosuke-senpai? You ok?"

Yosuke suddenly forces his body to sit up straight, looking over at Kanji and staring at him for a bit, before shaking his head. "N-no no it's..it's nothing man, I'm fine, just..tired, ya know?" Yosuke gives off his famous smile (it's..so easy to pull it off now. _Way_ too easy.) as he waves his hand. 

Kanji looks at Yosuke with a skeptical look, before sighing, picking his bento box back up. "If ya say so man.." 

Yosuke hums softly, finally picking his fork back up and starting to eat his lunch again. (or..the most his stomach can handle anway.)

* * *

_Why does this keep happening why does this keep_ **_happening-_ **

Yosuke stares at the note in his hands as he walks his way to Junes, gripping the small paper tightly and barely paying attention to his surroundings. These were supposed to be notes for..god knows what class, but now..

**'You're a failure, you're an awful person. Come on, you can't control your own body anymore! How pathetic are you?'**

It has mocking words. He's been losing control of his body, waking up in places he doesn't remember being in, being in different clothes..

He's been hanging out with the team less and less because of the sudden blackouts. How could he explain suddenly becoming an almost entirely different person? He can't. Yosuke isn't smart enough for that. He's never smart enough for that.

It's not like they've been trying and reach out to ask him if he's ok anyway. If anything they have been _avoiding_ him but..it's fine. He's not being a bother to them, so it's..fine. It's always _been_ fine.

Yosuke sighs, shoving the paper back in his uniform pocket where his weapons are also stored just in case they ever decide to go into the tv world. He can't think of them right now. He has to work anyway, that's one of the only good thing he seems to be good at besides the tv-

Yosuke pauses where he's standing, staring blankly at his friends as they walk out of the electronic section of the store, all bruised up and tired. 

_They..they went without him. They went in the tv world without him, they don't need him he's not_ **_necessary he's not needed-_ **

**You see? They don't care about you anymore..they don't need you, they are clearly better off without you..**

Yosuke clutches the side of his uniform, ignoring the tears that are coming up in his eyes as he tries to walk to his station.

**Or do you want to show them?**

Yosuke pauses his walking again, blinking in confusion. _Show..them..?_

**Show them all that you can be a good teammate for them, that you can work just fine without them. Don't you want to prove that you** **_are worth a damn?_ **

..the words aren't harsh.

Throughout the weeks that the shadow has been mocking him, (or..has it been months at this point..? He can't tell anymore it's been so long) he has never said a nice thing, never been nice. But now..the voice isn't nasty, isn't spilling out harsh and awful words.

The words are almost..nice. Encouraging, inviting even..

Yosuke looks back at the electronic section, staring at one particular tv in the selection.

**Come on..let's prove to them that** **_we_ ** **are helpful…**

Yosuke walks over to the tv with a small smile, putting on the glasses that Teddie made for him. He looks around, before sticking himself through the tv and into the other world.

_He has to prove himself._

* * *

Yosuke stares up at Yukiko's dungeon, gripping his Kunai's tightly before walking in.

**Let's take out as many as we can..let's prove ourselves to them, prove that we can be useful.**

Yosuke waste no time starting to slash at the shadows that he encounters. The shadow in his head laughs in encouragement as he slashes one particular shadow.

**Yes..yes! You see? If we continue to do this they'll be proud of us!**

Yosuke can taste something iron-like in his mouth, but he ignores it as he slashes at more and more shadows. He stares at one of the larger shadows, before he rushes up to it and slashes at its back. It makes a roar like sound as Yosuke does, smacking Yosuke harshly and sending him flying back.

The magician makes a yelp in pain as he feels something in his foot crack, but he simply just gets back up and steps the shadow, watching it disappear. He stands still for a few moments, before leaning on the wall, panting heavily. 

_He needs to keep going.._

He pushes himself off the wall, continuing to walk. He can feel something in his foot crack more and more now, but he ignores the pain and simply continues his walking. He hears his own shadow talk with excitement in its voice.

**See, this is what we have to do to be a good teammate, we take up their time and supplies if we complained about** **_tiny little things_ ** **like this! Now come on..keep going. I know we can do it~**

He smiles weakly, and confidently walks more with a small chuckle.

_He has to do this.._

* * *

Two days.

It's been two days since Yosuke disappeared. 

Ever since Teddie told the team Yosuke was nowhere to be found after his shift in Junes two days ago, Yu has been panicking every moment of those two days, staring at his phone every hour or so to see if Yosuke somehow texted him, Yosuke telling Yu that he's fine, _sorry for worrying you partner-_

But it never came. 

Yu sighs, staring up at the clock.

...why is he up at 11:59 pm?

The midnight channel is fine..someone can't show up right now..the day after tomorrow it's supposed to rain, it's going to be foggy tomorrow..

Nothing will turn-

A soft click echoes throughout the room, making Yu's train of thought come to a halt. 

_...what…_

Yu looks at the tv in his room in confusion, and he can feel his breath halt when he sees what's on the screen.

There on the screen is the missing member of the investigation team, slashing his way through shadows with a pained look on his face. He's bleeding everywhere, and from what Yu can see, his leg is probably broken from the way he is limping. The orange framed glasses that usually line the magician's eyes when they are in the tv world crooked and cracked.

...This is reminding Yu of when he first saw the midnight channel..from when him, Yosuke, and everyone else who watched that night saw Saki Konishi on the channel one day before she died.

Yu tries to examine more of the tv, but he hears the click of his clock, and as soon as he hears it, the tv turns off.

The fool continues to stare at the tv for what feels like forever, until he feels the vibration of his phone in his pocket go off. Quickly he picks it up, and sees he's getting a call from Teddie. Yu hesitates for a moment, before picking up the phone. "H-hello?-"

"S-sensei!! D-did you see the midnight channel tonight??"

"..Yes. Yes I did..why?"

"S..so then you saw.."

Yu flinches at the pained voice that Teddie seems to have. He knows how close the former shadow and Yosuke were after the ladder took in Teddie..They were almost like brothers at this point.

"Yosuke in the tv world.." Yu mutters, before shaking his head. "L..later. We are having a meeting later today. We need to save him tomorrow, or else.."

He hears Teddie hum in acknowledgement. "Y-yea..I'll tell the others in the group chat, and..you can get whatever you need packed for later..?"

"Yes..thank you, Teddie."

Yu hangs up the phone call, staring at the phone for a second before running a hand through his hair in frustration.

_Why was Yosuke in the tv world...fighting shadows_ **_alone..?_ **

* * *

The team looks around the Junes food court, their eyes filled with worry and concern.

Their friend is in the tv world, today is the last day they can do anything, the fog will come over on side, most likely killing Yosuke from the shadows going more berserk and..

Their leader isn't here yet.

Chie groans in frustration, tapping her foot as anxiety and worry starts to fill her body. "Where _is_ he..the meeting started over 10 minutes ago and he's never late to thes-"

She gets interrupted by the sight of the grey haired leader coming into their point of view. Yukiko lets out a relieved sigh. "Oh thank goodness you're ok..we thought something-"

"Tv."

Yukiko blinks in confusion. "H-huh?"

Yu grips his bag tightly, staring at them all before turning his head to the closed store. "TV world. Now."

Before anyone can say anything, he rushes towards the electronic section of the store, Teddie closely behind him. The rest suddenly get up from their seats, running after their leader as Chie yells.

"Yu! Yu, what the hell?!" She yells louder, panting as he stops in front of the tv. "W-We're supposed to talk about this and go in calm!"

Yu grinds his teeth together harshly, giving Teddie some of the medicine so he can have his hands freed more.

"Because you were _sooo_ willing to talk it over and go in calm when..oh I don't know, _Yukiko_ , was in the tv."

Chie feels herself freeze up, and Yu can see both her and Yukiko flinch in response. "N-Now that's not fair! That's a l-low blow, Yu!"

"I'm sorry, you're confusing me with someone who _gives a fuck_ right now Chie." He hisses out. "Yosuke's in the Tv and, by the looks of it, is in _far_ worse condition than _anyone_ else we've ever rescued. So either hurry the fuck up and help me or _get out of my way."_

The team stares in shock at Yu's sudden reaction, Teddie looking down and barely looking at the rest as he puts the medication that was handed to him in a small bag of his own. Yu grips the bag he has on him tightly, taking a few deep breaths before glaring at the rest of the team. 

"He could die literally any moment from how bad his injuries looked. If we don't go now he will fucking _die_ . Now, if you don't want to come, that's fine. _But I'm going in and saving him no matter_ **_what."_ **

Yu shakes his head, turning back to the tv as he jumps in, Teddie following after. Chie and Yukiko share a glance, before looking back at the team.

They all have this look of pain and shock on their faces. Chie stands there for a moment, contemplating on what to do or even _say_ , before sighing softly. "Come on.." she mutters, following Yu and Teddie into the tv world.


	2. I Know That It's Hard To Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yosuke let's out a small whimper. "I..I have to prove that I'm s-strong.." he mutters. "I have to prove t-that I'm of use to the team..! H-he said that this..this would do it!-"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ..I kinda feel bad for Yosuke in this chapter ngl
> 
> B u t-

Yosuke leans his broken body against the wall, clawing at it in pain as he feels blood cover his eye. _It hurts, it hurts, it hurts so god damn much-_

The last shadow he encountered got a lucky swipe on his and managed to swipe at his chest before clawing at his right eye. 

He can't see out of his right eye..is it only sealed up because of the blood? Or is it..gone?

...who's dungeon is he even in right now? Kanji's? Naoto's? He doesn't know.

But he doesn't care. Nore does he _want_ to care. The shadow in his head hisses out an insult.

**Come** **_on_ ** **, we have to continue!! If we don't, they will all be disappointed in us, and you don't want that, right?**

He simply lets out a pained groan in response. Before he can say anything else in response to the shadow, he hears his name being called. (His headphones broke god knows how many shadows ago..or did they just run out of battery? Do these headphones even _have_ batteries?)

"Yosuke!!"

… _Teddie?_

"Yosuke where are you?!"

.. _Yu.._

He turns his head slightly and though his broken glasses he could see the forms of his teammates through the fog.

_The team is here the team is here fuck how are they here already??_

**Did they come already..? ..Oh! But won't now be a perfect time to prove that we can be strong? Finish the job, let them watch us so we can prove ourselves to them..**

Yosuke can't help but get a small smile on his face, pretending to not see the team and ignoring the calls from them as he pushes himself off the wall and tries his best to limp forward.

Yu rushes forward and grabs Yosuke's arm quickly, making him bite down a scream (Didn't one of those..lion wheel Shadows bite his arm? Did it puncture or break it...?) 

"Y-yosuke please- j-just _stop_ -" Yu begs, and Yosuke can only stare at him dazed and confused.

...stop...? Doesn't...but he has to do this...to prove he's strong to them, to all of them..

Yosuke just tries to gently remove his arm from at first, putting his hand on Yu's hand and gently tugging at it, before he tries harder to get out of Yu's grip, starting to ramble out words.

"Y-Yu, come on, let go- I-I need to- need to show you guys that I-I can do this-"

Yu interrupts him with a confused noise, pain echoing through the noise he made. "D-do what..?? Basically go on- on a suicide mission- f-for what??"

Yosuke let's out a small whimper. "I..I have to prove that I'm s-strong.." he mutters. "I have to prove t-that I'm of use to the team..! H-he said that this..this would do it!-"

"Him..?" Yu interrupts him, and Yosuke falls silent as he realizes what he just said. "S-someone told you to..w-who?? Who told you to do this..!?"

Yosuke can hear his shadow spring back up. Its words no longer the soft encouraging words..instead, it fell back to it's old mocking words.

**You fucking worthless fuck up!! They are going to abandon you and you** **_know_ ** **it!! Once you tell them that "oh yea I can hear someone talking to me", they are going to leave you to die here and rot because you're insane!!**

Yosuke winces harshly at the words, closes his eyes to think, before shaking his head and gritting his teeth.

"N..no one." He forces out. "N-no one told me, I went here on my o-own accord-"

"Yosuke please just-" Yu glances over at Yosuke, noting the harsh flinch. "Just tell me who said that-"

**You want him to think you're insane? You want your dear,** **_precious_ ** **partner to think that of you?? Do you want them to all leave you, do you want** **_him_ ** **to leave you???**

"I..I told you, no one told me-"

"S-stop with the b-bullshit already Yosuke!"

"I know when you're lying to me..." Yu's voice is suddenly deathly calm, and Yosuke can feel himself shiver knowing that that tone of voice usually meaning that his partner is keeping bottled up rage inside right now "Tell me, who forced you to do this." 

"N-no one forced me..."

"Who told you to do this?!"

"I-I can't....I-I can't say who-"

"Yosuke please!-"

"I did!" He breaks with a sob in his voice. "I-I told myself to do this!"

Yosuke can feel the tears roll down his face, and he has to turn away from Yu's glance from him.

"S..sha..my shadow.." Yosuke bites his lip, trying to control the panic crawling up though his throat. "My shadow s-said that I needed to p-prove myself, that..that I'm not useless, that i can do something for the team, t..that.." 

Yosuke falls silent, just letting tears fall from his eyes as he feels the glares of the others from the team.

**You really said that..?They are gonna think you're fucking insane now, I hope you know this…**

Yu stares at him in silence for a moment, confused. "Shadow..?" Yu mutters, before his eyes widen. "...Yosuke...You can hear your Shadow?" A silent nod from Yosuke.

"How...How long have you been hearing it?"

"Weeks, months maybe…? I-I dunno..." Yosuke can feel himself sway as he starts feeling faint. Is it from exhaustion..? Maybe it's from the bloodloss..who knows.

"It....It was only a w-whisper at first..it was easy to ignore, b-but than..I-It got louder and louder and louder, always mocking me.." He chokes up on tears.

"T-then...Then it got to the point w-where that...I-I would start blacking out....W-Waking up in different rooms...wearing different clothes....I-I wasn't just hearing it....I-I was finding messages from it written in..in my notes...."

Yosuke pauses, trying to come up with what to say next. "W..when I saw you guys c..come out of the tv world all h-hurt, I-I guess I just...finally gave in.." he forces a smile on his face. "Just..seeing you guys not _needing_ me, so..I just finally gave in to his words.."

"Y..Yosuke.." Yu looks at Yosuke, feeling tears in his own eyes.

He tries to explain, explain that _everyone noticed how tired he looked, how_ worn _down he looked._ _That they didn't leave him out because they thought he where useless. That they just needed a few small things from Yukiko's castle, that everyone wanted him to rest because of how..overworked he looked.._

But words refute to leave his mouth. They were stuck. Instead, Yu just gently pulls Yosuke close to him into a hug, shaking softly and muttering _"I'm sorry...so sorry.."_ over and over again as he rest his chin on Yosuke's head.

Yosuke stays silent for a few moments, staring at Yu's chest in a almost shock like state, before slowly hugging back. "W..why are y..you.." Yosuke tries to form words, before letting a soft sigh out. "Why are y-you apologizing..?"

"For not seeing all the signs…" Yu mumbles. "For not asking about the signs we did see, for not talking to you, for not helping you, for making you feel like you couldn't come to us for help." Yu closes his eyes, trying not to let tears escape his eyes. "I can't....There's so much to apologize to you for..."

Yosuke tries to think of something to say. _No, no Yu this is my fault, I hid this, I didn't talk about this to anyone it's all my fault that this happened-_

He just stays silent, gripping the back of Yu's shirt tightly and ignoring the blatant tears that are rolling down his face as he buries his head onto Yu's chest.

Yu rubs Yosuke's back in an attempt to calm the smaller one down, slowly running his hand through Yosuke's hair with his free hand. He pauses at the feeling of something wet on his hands. Yu pulls his head and hand away from Yosuke's head, and he frowns.

His hand is now coated in blood, both fresh and clumps of dried up blood on his hand. Yu makes a small noise that sounds like a sigh, summoning Kohryu. Hearing the sound of a persona summoning, Yosuke's eyes widen, and tries to push away from Yu.

"W-Wait…" Yosuke mutters, making a small sound of pain as he continues to try and get away from Yu. "Y-you've already b-been in here and exhausted yourself t-today and-"

"Today..?" Yu looks at Yosuke in disbelief. "Y..yosuke....Yosuke you've been missing for two days..."

Yosuke pauses what he was saying, looking up at Yu with confusion laced on his face. "Two..days..? But..I entered just..a few hours ago..there's no way t-that it's been..t-two days, I've b-been-" Yosuke pauses his sentence, closing his eyes and turning away from Yu.

Yu stares at Yosuke in shock. "..p..please don't tell me you've been fighting shadows the whole time you were here.." he mumbles in disbelief. Yosuke doesn't answer him, choosing to stay silent instead.

Yu shakes his head slightly, not being able to believe what Yosuke said. Yu grips Yosuke's hand slightly, and mutters a soft "Mediarahan.." and starts to heal Yosuke. Yosuke's eyes widen up, and he has to hold down a scream of pain.

_He can feel his bones moving, he can feel them shift back into place and the wounds he has seal shut-_

He tries to recoil away from Yu as a knee-jerk reaction from the pain, before he stays still, and turns his head to look away from Yu, from _all of them.._

Yosuke looks weak. He doesn't want the rest of the team to see his tears or the pained look on his face when he feels another one of his wounds closing because of the magic.

Yu keeps muttering apologies as he continues to try and heal Yosuke. Normally, the magic would make this painless, but because of how badly Yosuke is hurt, the magic is struggling to even fix everything so it can't numb the pain at all.

Yu can see the tears on Yosuke's face, and he feels a stab of guilt go through his heart. He rubs Yosuke's back in an attempt to try and comfort him. "I know, I know this has to hurt..but it has to be done I…"

Yu looks over Yosuke's wounds again, wincing as he looks over them. "There's just..so much Yosuke...Partner...It's a miracle you're still standing..."

Yosuke glances over at Yu. "..w..what do you mean miracle..?" He mumbles in confusion, and Yu frowns slightly at that.

"You..you should have passed out from blood loss by now based on how bad the wounds are.."

Yosuke pauses his movement slightly, before staring back at the floor. "..maybe I should have so you guys wouldn't have to worry about me.." he mutters under his breath, biting his lip and hoping no one heard him.

Yu's eyes widen in horror as he hears what Yosuke said. "You should have..Yosuke..are..do you..." He's struggling with the words out of his mouth. How can he ask this..? How can he ask his partner that.. "...Did you..want to die here.?"

Yosuke's eyes widen a bit, shooting his head to stare at Yu in shock that he heard him, before he slumps his shoulders. "It's what..what _he_ wanted from the beginning.." Yosuke grips the edge of his sleeves. "H-he wanted me to come in here to.."

"Your Shadow....your Shadow wants...for you to die..?" Yu tries to swallow down the feeling of anxiety crawling up his throat. _This is.._

He quickly pulls Yosuke into another hug "Please...Please no...Yosuke...I-I don't know what I'd be able to...." Yu's trembling, struggling to talk as he finally starts to break and cry.

Yosuke makes a squeaking noise of surprise, gripping Yu's shirt in an almost instinct. _Why is Yu…_

He notices the tears, and panic starts to go through him. "H-hey, d-do-don't cry p-partner-" he tries to lean back from the hug, trying to wipe Yu's tears away with his sleeves and ignoring his own tears again.

"D-don't cry? A-after what-?!" Yu sobs more, clinging onto Yosuke tighter. "You..you're so special to me...I-I don't know what I'd do if...if you were _gone_ , Yosuke..."

Yosuke tries to say something as a retaliation, before he just sighs and clings onto Yu more. "S..sorry.." he stutters out. 

Yu holds him closer, closing his eyes "...Let's get you home.." he says after a while. "Your parents are..are worried _sick_ about you. And when you've recovered....We'll see about helping you with your Shadow, o-ok?"

Yosuke stands still in Yu's arms for a bit. _His parents were-_

Yosuke reluctantly nods after a bit, gripping his broken headphones close to him in a sort of comfort despite them being broken. "..I have no idea what you can do a..about my shadow b-but.."

Yu keeps Yosuke close to him, reluctant to even let go of Yosuke out of fear of almost losing him again. "We'll figure something out to deal with him. You don't have to suffer alone..."

"...will you?" Yosuke gets a look of doubt on his face. "I've..tried everything, and still he.."

Yu tightens his hold on Yosuke trying to comfort him more. "I promise Partner..."

Yosuke closes his eyes, leaning against Yu more. "If...if you say..so.." he lets out a sigh, barely being able to hear the others screams and shouts as he feels himself pass out.

* * *

Yosuke opens his eyes, groaning in pain.

_...where..was he..?_

Yosuke sits up in the soft cushions he's on, looking around the small room. He sees small origami cranes on the wall, and he feels his breath tighten.

_This..is Yu's room-_

He looks over on his shoulders, seeing one of Yu's larger jackets on him, and his face heats up. _Oh.._

While Yosuke is thinking, Yu comes into the room holding a small bowl. He stares at Yosuke for a bit, before smiling softly. 

"You're up.."

Yosuke makes what sounds like a squeaking sound as he jumps, staring at Yu in shock, before he relaxes slightly. "F-fuck, Yu, don't- don't sneak up on me man..!"

Yu chuckles slightly, sitting down next to Yosuke and setting the bowl of soup on the small desk in the room. "Sorry about that.." Yu mumbles, before looking up at Yosuke again. "How are you feeling?"

Yosuke stares at Yu for a bit, before curling up on himself slightly. "Better..? Like..a lot better than before I passed out…"

Yu hums slightly, picking the bowl back up and handing it to Yosuke. "I..know that you are probably at least a bit hungry so..I made you some soup.."

Yosuke looks at the bowl, before taking it from Yu's hands. "T..thank you.." he mutters, and starts to eat the soup slowly.

They sit in silence for a bit as Yosuke slowly eats the soup that Yu made. As soon as Yosuke finishes and puts the bowl down, Yu makes a small coughing noise. "So..I think we should talk about him.."

Yosuke blinks, looking up at Yu in confusion. "Him..?"

"Your shadow."

"..oh.."

Yosuke can feel himself cringe up. He instantly wants to drown in the soup he just ate. 

...How could he explain what his Shadow was telling him, how badly he just wanted to...to _die?_

That..that every day was just the same, rinse, repeat, going through the motions with that added layer of-

**How pathetic...can't even explain that you wish you were dead because of how boring this shit hole is, because of how much better everyone else is compared to you! You're just pathetic. The TV is right there. I bet he won't even be able to catch you if you run fast enough, you seem to be good at that at least..**

Yosuke visibly flinched at the words. But..he wouldn't hide them. No matter how much he wanted to, no matter how much he hated feeling _this_ pathetic, he..had to. 

"..he..c-calls me pathetic...for n-not being strong enough....a-and that I could just...run...and you wouldn't....you wouldn't be able to catch me and then I could really go die-"

**Just like he wants you to.**

"...j-just like you want me to."

Yu freezes up at Yosuke's words, staring at Yosuke in shock. His brain can't comprehend-

Like..like he wants him to do..? What does..what does he mean by..

Yosuke stares back at Yu, feeling himself tear up. _He said to much he said way to much Yu probability hates him god why the fuck did he-_

**Come on..do it while he's distracted. Use your legs, get up,** **_and bolt to the tv and_ ** **_jump in-_ **

And that's exactly what he does.

Yosuke gets up suddenly, gripping his sleeves tightly as he rushes towards the tv in the room. Yu finally snaps back into reality, looking at Yosuke and his eyes widening. Without a second thought, he grabs Yosuke's arm, trying to pull him back.

Yosuke makes a distressed sound, trying to get out of Yu's grip. Yu ends up bringing both of them down when he gives a slight pull towards him, and Yu ends up hitting his head against his desk. The Fool let's go of Yosuke's arm to rub the back of his head in pain.

Yosuke stays frozen for a moment, just laying on top of Yu, before his eyes widen, and hurries to check Yu's head.

**Wow you really let him get hurt? Amazing job, Prince of Junes!~**

Yosuke bites his lip, trying to gold in the whimper as he leans away from Yu.

"..I..I.."

Yosuke stuttered over his words, scooting away from Yu and _closer_ to the TV. He'd hurt partner, how could he have been this fucking stupid, Yu hates him now, he has to, he-

**You fucked everything up like you always do! You ruined everything you ever had with your so called "partner"! You think he'll want to be your friend after this? Hah! Of course not, you fucking hurt him! Just run, Yosuke..run so he never has to look at you or deal with you aga-**

It happened so fast that Yosuke wasn't sure what was even going on. One moment he was scrambling for the tv, and the next.. _his partners arms were wrapped around his shoulders._

"W..wha-"

"Y..Yosuke.." Yosuke hears Yu mumbles softly near his ears, bringing the smaller male closer to him. "Please you...please god _no_ …" Yu clutches onto Yosuke tighter. 

"You mean so much to me..t-to _everyone_ on the team..i..if you would have died in the tv world I..I wouldn't know what to do anymore.." 

Yosuke stares at Yu's bedroom walls, his mind racing, trying to comprehend what Yu just said. _He.._

"You..you don't hate me..?"

Yu looks at Yosuke in the eyes, frowning softly. "I could never hate you..I doubt I could hate you even if I _tried_.." The magician bites his lips softly, trying to come up with something to say, before wrapping his arms around Yu, sobbing softly on Yu's chest as Yu runs a hand through his hair to try and calm him down.

All he does for a few solid minutes is cry on Yu's shoulder, and Yu doesn't complain. He just holds Yosuke tightly and allows him to cry. After he's reduced to just small whimpers, he pulls away from Yu.

"S..sorry.." he mumbles, trying to put on a fake smile, before sighing and closing his eyes. He's..suddenly _exhausted-_

Yu simply stares at Yosuke for a bit, before smiling softly at him. "Do..you want to go back to sleep..?" He asks gently. "That might..help you feel better.."

Yosuke nods softly, slowly standing up (with the help of Yu) and dragging himself to the futon, flopping down to lay on it. Yu smiles softly, going to the desk in his room to work on some small projects he's doing.

Yosuke stays still for a moment under the covers. He..doesn't feel safe for some reason. Sure, Yu is in the room but..he still feels like his shadow might come back and control him..

...so what if he asks Yu to..

Yosuke turns his body to look at Yu at the desk.

"..c..can you..uh.." Yosuke grips the sheets. 

**He'll for sure hate you if you-**

"Can you lay down with me for a bit..? I-I don't..feel comfortable without you uh..n-near me right now, I guess.."

Yu blinks in surprise, picking his head up from the desk and staring at Yosuke. He takes a moment, before smiling softly, standing up from the desk and going over to Yosuke. "If that makes you comfortable.."

"I-I wouldn't have asked if it didn't.."

Yu gives a small chuckle, laying down next to Yosuke and stretching a small bit. Yosuke takes this time and scoot himself closer to the grey hair boy. Yosuke expects to hear his shadow bicker at him for **pushing his luck-**

But Yu doesn't push him away. He simply drapes his arm over Yosuke, pulling him closer and closing his own eyes. Yosuke feels his heart fluster for a moment, before he sighs in content, pushing his head onto Yu's chest.

"Goodnight Yosuke.." Yu mutters, making a soft humming sound. Yosuke grips onto Yu's shirt, pushing his ear up against Yu's chest to hear his heartbeat.

It's calm..Yosuke can feel all the tension that was left in his body fade away, as he makes a small sound of relief.

"Goodnight partner.."

* * *

Yu stares at Yosuke for a good while, making sure he is asleep, before slowly getting up, placing his jacket in Yosuke's arms and heading out the front door, walking over to a very familiar tv.

Yu can only think of one thing and one thing only.

_Yosuke's shadow is still out there- he needs to find it. He needs to help Yosuke._


	3. Where's That Chime?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yu gets to the end of the shopping district. He's panting in fear and from him running as he leans against his katana from tiredness. "Y..Yosuke..please.." he whimpers out, trying to hear out a voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going to be real with ya  
> I don't like this chapter/how I decided to end stuff  
> But this was the best I can do so..lmao
> 
> Also the shadows are named after their initial persona because I'm lazy lol

Yu grips his katana tightly, looking around the tv world’s version of the shopping district. He..he checked _everywhere else_ , this was the last area he hasn't checked. But one thing that's weird about this area now is... _the lack of any Shadows._

There are usually at least _some_ shadows in the area but, now, nothing. Quiet as a mouse..

Yu’s brain is constantly running with questions and worry.

_Where is Yosuke’s shadow he has to be here somehow where is he he can’t fail Yosuke he can’t he can’t_ **_he can’t fail him-_ **

Yu grip on his weapon tightens as he starts to run though the shopping district. 

_“Yosuke? Yosuke where are you?!”_

He knows that this isn’t Yosuke. Yosuke is back at home, asleep, he doesn't know that he is here..but..

_“Come on, I just want to talk for a bit! Please!!”_

Yu gets to the end of the shopping district. He's panting in fear and from him running as he leans against his katana from tiredness. "Y..Yosuke..please.." he whimpers out, trying to hear out a voice.

_But he hears no other voice in this realm._

Yu bows his head, letting out a shaky breath, before he stands up straight again, trying to ignore the tears rolling his face. "I..I.." he lets out a weak sob.

_"I failed him…"_ He mumbles. "I-I should have noticed the signs earlier, I should have seen..seen _any signs_ , y-yet.."

Yu drags himself back to the entrance of the tv world, defeated and broken, not noticing the bright yellow eyes sitting on top of a building.

* * *

**"...heh."** Jiraiya smiles softly as he watches Yu hurry along back to the entrance. **"Too easy."** he jumps off the small building, walking back to the liquor store. **"I knew he wouldn't find me..I mean, why would he even want to? I'm sure he's happy he didn't find me-"**

**_"Are you sure about that?"_ **

Jiraiya jumps up, looking behind him and getting in a defensive position. It's..it's _Izanagi-_

He's faint. He's transparent as he stares at Jiraiya with a frown on his face. Jiraiya can't help but be in stunned silence, glancing around before looking back at Izanagi. **"W..what are you doing-"**

**"I..don't have that much time.."** Izanagi mumbles. **"He already knows and accepts this part of himself, of feeling like he's failed Yosuke so..I need to make this quick."**

The other shadow stares at the smaller one, his face turning serious. He cups his face in one hand, as if pained by his flickering form.

**“You don’t have to run from living.”** Jiraiya’s snide smile falters, his lower lip trembling slightly. Without waiting for a response, Izanagi continues. **“I’m serious. How long do you expect to keep existing like this?”**

Jiraiya lets out a soft growl, gripping Izanagi's wrist tightly and staring at him with an angry look in his eyes.

**"Don't you see? I don't deserve to love-** **_we_ ** **don't deserve to live!! W-we both are just fuck ups, f-fuck ups that don't deserve anything good to happen to them-"**

Izanagi suddenly grips Jiraiya's shoulders tightly. **"Why!? Why can't you understand!? Do you think I'm lying everytime I say I want to hang out!? Do you think I'm fooling you!? That I'm crying fake tears right now!?"**

**"B-because I'm not worth the pain! I'm not worth all the trouble, because I'm just fucking trash that is just a fucking nightmare-"**

**"Listen to me for one god danm second!!"** Jiraiya stops his small rant, looking up at the other shadow in shock as he lets out a soft sob.

**"You deserve to be happy, you don't deserve to fucking die!! Why can't you fucking understand that?!"** His hands have shifted from being on Jiraiya's shoulders to his cheeks, letting out soft sobs as he does. 

**"Why don't you recognize that!? Why are you running away!? Stay alive for fuck sake! Let yourself see your own worth! Let me love you! Let the** **_team_ ** **love you!"**

Jiraiya stares up at the silver shadow, opening and closing his mouth again in shock. Izanagi can feel himself disappear, and he panics more, bringing the other shadow closer to him.

**"Please- before I disappear- p-please tell me you understand- t-that you understand that you're worth it, t-that there are people who** **_care_ ** **about you-"**

Izanagi gently brings his and Jiraiya's head closer together. **"P-promise me you'll come back to Yosuke..y-you can be whole again, you..you can stop suffering.."**

Izanagi closes his eyes tightly, ignoring the tears. **"P..please..you're..you're worth so much..you deserve to get love..please** **_Yosuke.._ ** **"**

Jiraya tries to grip onto the other shadow's hand, but by the time he tries to, he's already gone. 

He just stares blankly at the place where the other shadow was, tears rolling down his face while Izanagi's words echo through his mind. He lets out a sob, falling to his knees.

**"...m..maybe he's right..."**

The shadow just smiles, trying to wipe the tears falling down his face. **"H-he's...he's right...I..."** he closes his eyes, laughing at himself slightly, feeling himself disappear. **"I..I understand now.."**

Jiraiya looks at where Izanagi was, blinking tears from his eyes, before sighing, letting himself fade away.

* * *

Yu practically drags himself back to his house. He's trying to hold back frustrated tears as he opens the door, making sure to make no noise as he closes the door and rush towards his bedroom where-

"You're back."

Yu freezes, looking over at the futon to see Yosuke, sitting up straight with his arms crossed, his arms holding the jacket Yu have put in his arms before he left. His face is filled with worry as he wipes at his eyes angrily.

"I-I Y-yosuke-!" 

"A..after I was an idiot..Y-you go and do the same thing?!" 

Yu winces. "I..I wanted to try..a-and talk to your Shadow.."

Yosuke pauses hid small ramble, staring at Yu with a confused and worried face.

All that's going though Yu's head is _I failed him I didn't do what I wanted to do god how the fuck can I mess up_ **_this_ ** _badly god dammit Narukami-_

Yosuke takes one look at Yu's almost defeated face. He shifts on the bed almost uncomfortably, looking down at the floor.

"..I don't..hear him anymore.."

Yu blinks in confusion, looking at Yosuke with wide eyes and a shocked face. "W..what?"

"I-I..I can't hear him anymore..I feel..relief, almost, I feel..better than I have in months.."

Yu almost runs to the bed, grabbing onto Yosuke's hands excitedly. "R-really!?" He says with relief, a long held back tear starting to roll down his face. "Are you- You're not just going to disappear on me right!?"

Yosuke's taken aback from the sudden yelling from Yu, getting into a defensive position, before he lets his body relax as Yu grabs onto his hands. "Y-yea i..I don't think I'll disappear on you again.."

Yu blankly stares at Yosuke for a few seconds, and before Yosuke can ask if he's ok, Yu practically engulfs Yosuke in a hug, burying his face on the Magician's shoulder.

Yosuke hugs back almost instantly. Yosuke says nothing as he feels tears on his shoulder and hears the quiet sobs of the leader. He simply holds Yu close, leaning back slightly on the wall to get more comfortable while he comforts Yu, a few tears escaping his own eyes.

They are there for what feels like hours. Just quietly holding each other close, Yu pulls back a bit, but he doesn't let go of Yosuke.

"U..uh.." Yosuke looks at Yu's arms, then back at Yu. Yu sheepishly looks away. "I..I'm afraid that if I let go of you, y-you'll just.." he pauses. "..that you'll somehow vanish again..just..gone. E-even though I _know_ everything is over, I'm..I'm afraid.."

Yosuke is silent for a moment, and Yu is worried that he must have said something bad, before Yosuke cracks a huge smile on his face and gives off a small laugh, before bursting out into full blown laughing, covering his mouth with his hand to hide the laughs.

Yu looks at Yosuke, confusion going through him, before Yosuke looks up at Yu with the most genuine smile he has ever given in months while having tears in his eyes.

"T-that's so cheesy man.."

Yu relaxes, and he puts on the most serious look he can manage on his face. "Don't care, it's true."

This just causes Yosuke to laugh more, and after a bit, Yu joins him in the laughing fit. They both just lean against each other while they laugh, and Yosuke feels like a weight has been lifted off of him.

This feels nice, laughing in his best friends room with his best friend, both of them just being filled with joy and being carefree..

He likes this feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I..hope you enjoyed how it ended?
> 
> It's probably like..bad
> 
> But
> 
> Lmao

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> If you want to talk/interact with me, my Twitter is @y0w0suke 🧡


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